While part of the software is rolling towards total simplification and some strange design transformations, the IT infrastructure of companies is becoming more complex and tangled. If you feel like arguing with this, you probably haven't configured Cisco routers, dealt with DevOps, are unfamiliar with monitoring and print management, and still think an admin is a cat, a shredder, a sweater, and a beard. But no matter how life changes, technology, hardware, and software, one thing remains unchanged — support for 1C user questions that can ruin your day, test your nerves, provoke hysteria, shock, and a desire to kill. It turns out this is everywhere — so here’s a small top under the cut.
Bashorg forever!
Actually, the girl from contacted the author of these comics, Sarolta Hershey, a year ago, but something went wrong and the release of these symptomatic images didn’t happen. However, permission for translation and use has been granted. Dear Sarolta, thank you for your nice idea and brilliant pictures! The original comics are in the post , our text.
In general, sysadmins of all countries, unite!
Internet
This is probably the most common reason to dial the internal number of a system administrator and ask the top stupid questions. And of course, one must be glad that colleagues call humbly or demanding — it’s much worse when a colleague is too proud and tries to configure some hardware, distributing IP addresses via DHCP. Overall, users are certainly sweet: they clear their browser history thinking they’ve erased it everywhere; they actively use incognito mode and believe it doesn’t consume traffic; they connect their modems but forget to select the access point and think they are cleverly connected "through their internet."
Moreover, they believe that admins and managers are very stingy, so they monitor history of visits and traffic volume. Well, yes, of course, it's upsetting for the boss if you spend ⅔ of your workday on Pikabu, in an online store, or even on Habr — after all, he pays for work, not for entertainment. But this is not as critical as the questions of information security: while the rookie is laughing on YouTube, a savvy salesperson quietly downloads the database from the cloud. And everyone ends up affected 🙂
Can I download a copy of the internet?
I think I've broken the Internet! Can you fix it?
Self-proclaimed sysadmins
If your colleague has mastered Win+L or cmd —> regedit, consider everything, these are the most dangerous people because they believe they are sysadmins. They will reboot computers, swap cables, plug bootable flash drives into every port, clean the registry, uninstall and install programs (if you don’t restrict these capabilities), sooner or later they will try to remove or disable the antivirus, and access system files. In general, without group policies — keep a close eye on them. But then they suddenly throw up the white flag and ask funny questions:
- I deleted Internet Explorer, where's the Internet?
- Can I install MS SQL? Why? It’s Microsoft!
- Crack my Office! (quack-quack-quack, the IT department exists for a reason)
- Why did you close it? I have a session manager in Mozilla with 49 saved sessions! All essential!
- Everything is slower with the antivirus! (yeah, we know — not the same feeling)
- I stuck a juice straw in the fan and stopped it, now it doesn't make noise, but it's glitching. (Proud, of course)
- I didn’t touch anything, but it mysteriously froze. I mean, 72 tabs in Chrome? Is it really that weak? (and why don’t you lift the barbell with 12 plates, weakling?)
My computer doesn't want to work. Should it be turned on?
Will a hair dryer defrost (speed up) my computer?
Questions to ponder
Thinking is not in the users' rules — it's easier for them to dial an internal number and ask a brilliant question. Typically, such questions contain their own answers. Sometimes it looks like a desire to clarify, share responsibility, or show off their intelligence. Or maybe just no one to talk to.
What time does this 24-hour technical support close?
Suspicion
Users' suspicion astonishingly contrasts with open recklessness in the field of information security. They have the password ytrewq321 (clever!), write it down on a piece of paper, and casually access corporate systems through public Wi-Fi (if the admin doesn't take care of that), but they go crazy if the cursor suddenly jerks in an unexpected way. The first suspect, of course, is the sysadmin — how else could he see the history of visits and calls?! A separate paranoia starts after a TeamViewer connection: the computer becomes the most suspicious object, no longer trusted. However, it's a nice educational moment.
The IP address 127.0.0.1 belongs to you, right? Did you hack me??
The desire to be trendy and profound technical illiteracy
"I moved clients to the cloud and submitted the deal," the salesman casually and repetitively rattles off near the coffee machine, proudly glancing at the admin. Expanding his vocabulary, of course. All for the IT folks, so he can talk to them in the same language later. Over time, he will certainly ask to translate "to linya", "to move VDS" (he means VPN), "to get the network to home" (catch, little fish, while I’m going to move E1, right), "to rustle in the cloud", etc. At the same time, he confuses ABBYY and Adobe, actually asks to print a video (sometimes helps to print a screenshot in the right place), and upon seeing Linux, he faints (but you are installing it without GUI, right? 😉)
The IT field today attracts everyone — it seems prestigious, expensive, beautiful, rock-and-roll. It's like Ferrari: if you can't drive it, at least you can admire it. So, no need to get upset or hold lectures with foam at the mouth; they'll get through it themselves. But seriously, if any colleagues are genuinely interested, why not share? Maybe they will retrain and enter IT after 35!
Is it raining in the clouds?
How do I print a video?
I want one of those Linuxes; can you install one for me?
Text on the t-shirt: "May the force be with me."
In general, users love sysadmins; they know that if they call him, everything will be alright. They believe in you, they trust you, they think you have superpowers and super skills. Isn't the role of a superhero a good one?
In general, friends, happy holidays! Wishing you patience, savvy politics, safe actions, reliable connections, clear configurations, timely backups, and may such silly questions be the worst in your work life. Cheers!
With love,
Source: habr.com
