🥇How to Properly Distribute Kittens

Kitten Distribution via DHCP

Attach a leash to the kitten
Release the kitten into the crowd
Once the owner is found, they will detach the kitten from the leash themselves.

Kitten Distribution via HTTPS

— Do you need a kitten?
— Does it have a pedigree and vaccination certificate?
— Yes, here, take a look. By the way, is your passport still valid?
— No, it's just Moldovan. Is this really a kitten?
— What about it?
— Why does its pedigree list a German shepherd?

Kitten Distribution via TCP

— Hello.
— Hello.
— May I ask you a few questions?
— Sure, but no more than two at a time.
— Do you see the kitten?
— This one?
— Yes.
— I see it.
— Do you want to take it for yourself?
— No. Are there any more questions?
— No.
— Goodbye.
— Goodbye.

Kitten Distribution via UDP

— Here’s your kitten!
(the distributor shoves the kitten into their arms and runs away).

Kitten Distribution via ICMP

meow
meow
meow
meow

0% voice loss

Kitten Distribution via BGP

— Don't you want a kitten?
— No. I recommend giving them away at the market.
— And where is that?
— Go straight, take the third turn to the left, and then ask someone. Or you can turn left now and take the third turn to the right, but the traffic light is long.

Kitten Distribution via DHT/PEX

— Friends, please ask your friends if anyone knows a person whose neighbors need a kitten!

Kitten Distribution via SSH

— Honey, it seems someone broke into our house during our vacation!
— What a nightmare! Did anything go missing?
— On the contrary, they left us a kitten!