Two months of waiting. By popular demand. From the heart. In honor of the holiday. In the best traditions.
“So… Come on again, what’s the point?”
Sergey slowly, with pleasure, dragged on cigarette smoke and looked at Galina with a mischievous smile.
- Oh, it's a pity, we can't take you with us - they have already remembered that you are the quality director. The experiment will fail.
- What kind of experiment?
— I want to show how technological discipline is carried out in reality. And what is the quality of parts in intermediate operations.
“And this one… What is your friend for?
— Tolyan something? By the way, Tolyan, thanks again for coming so quickly. Will there be problems at work?
- No. grunted a guy with glasses and bluish stubble on his face. I'm a freelancer, I don't have a job. Unlike you.
Let me introduce you, Galina. This is Tolyan. We studied together and did practical work at the plant. They were concerned with product quality. But I - so, on top. And Tolyan fumbles.
- Nice to meet you. Galina nodded. - What's next, Sergei?
- Right now, let's finish our smoke and go to the shop. And you... I don't know... The main thing is not to loom here. Sit in a corner somewhere. Or go to the office. Otherwise, they will understand that something is happening here.
- And by your presence they will not understand that something is happening?
- No. We're kind of students. They came to measure the details, collect data for the diploma. Such people constantly roam around here, people are no strangers.
- Not afraid? Galina asked seriously.
- Whom? Sergey choked. - Or what?
- Well I do not know.
“So I don't know. It is clear that it is not so scary when your position is known. They see shoulder straps - and bypass. But I think everything will be fine. Tolyan and I are grated peppers.
“Well, whatever you say…” Galina shrugged. - Okay, then I'll sit in the plant management, in the negotiation. Call me if you need me.
- Fine. Sergey nodded, put out his cigarette and resolutely headed towards the workshop.
So, like in the good old days? Tolyan smiled, opening the heavy workshop door.
- If only not like that time ... - Sergey smiled sadly in response.
And they moved through the shop. Sergey chose the object for research in advance, but due to ignorance of the location of the machines, he had to wander a little. No one paid attention to them, did not offer help - you never know what idiots are wandering around the shop.
Finally, the right site was found. It consisted of five grinding machines of the same type, quite old, produced back in the days of the USSR. The site was quite closed, the machines stood in a circle, and the appearance of the "students" did not go unnoticed - the workers began to look askance at the guests.
Sergei, wasting no time, immediately went to the container with the parts processed on one of the machines. I got one and measured it. Then the second, third, fourth...
Let's get a hundred pieces. Tolyan said. - Better in a row, straight from the machine.
- What for in a row?
- You never know, maybe we'll catch a trend. The machine is a grinding machine, the circle should quickly crumble. If the dude does not adjust in time, then there will be a clear trend to increase the size.
- Damn, Tolyan. – Sergey picturesquely shook hands with a friend. How do you remember all this crap? Still, I suppose, can you name all five Shewhart stability criteria without hesitation?
Actually, there are seven of them. - like a real nerd, Tolyan adjusted his glasses with his index finger. - And you, as you were an ignoramus, remained.
“Okay…” Sergei waved his hand. Let's make a selection.
We went to the nearest machine. Sergei looked down a bit, deciding whether to ask the worker to hand over the processed parts, or to fish them out of the container. Decided to contact the worker.
- Dear! - Sergei came close to the peasant. - We have this here ... Can you give me the details after processing? We will measure them.
— And who are you? the worker asked gloomily.
We are students in practice. Your technologist ordered to measure the details.
— Fuck?
— Do I know? Probably, he doesn’t feel like messing with us, so he sent it. We are this, with sharagi.
“Why are you painfully old for a sharaga ...” the worker scowled.
- Yes, we thump a lot, so we weathered. So, can you give details?
- OK. The worker nodded after a few seconds of thought.
Then things got more fun. Sergey took the part, measured it with a lever bracket, told the size to Tolyan, who wrote it down and put the part in a box. The first parts were defective. After each measurement, Sergei and Tolyan looked at each other with a smile, like a shy couple on a first date, but did not dare to speak.
“This is…” Sergei finally asked. “Your details seem to be out of tolerance.”
- What? - the worker turned to Sergei and looked menacingly at him. “What the hell else is a clearance?”
- Well, here it is. - Sergei took a folded piece of paper from his pocket, unfolded it and jabbed his finger at the drawing. - See what size should be, and what is the tolerance field.
“You will go to my field right now.” The worker paid no attention to the paper. - Get the hell out of here!
“Come on, what are you…” Sergey stepped back, stumbled over Tolyan’s leg and almost fell. - If you don't want it, whatever you want ... Tolyan, let's go to another machine.
The worker took a couple of steps forward, but, making sure that the students retreated, proudly turned around and continued to work. Sergei looked around, choosing the next victim, and settled on a lean man of a rather intelligent appearance.
- Dear! Sergei turned to another worker. – Can we measure your details?
- Yes, sure. He smiled politely. - You for research work? Or are you writing your thesis?
Diploma, yes. Sergei nodded. - You, give us the machined parts, we will immediately measure them.
- Fine. The worker nodded and returned to the machine.
This time all the details, to a single one, were in the tolerance field. Sergei did not notice any trends or one-time deviations. When I got a hundred details, I even managed to get bored.
- Tell me, why do you have details without marriage? Sergei asked the worker.
- In terms of? he smiled. - Must be with marriage, or what?
- Well ... We just measured at your colleague's, so every one of them was outside the tolerance.
- Don't know. The worker shrugged. - I am responsible for my work, let someone else's boss do it. Is there anything else I can help?
- No thanks!
Sergey and Tolyan went to the center of the site and began to look around, deciding what to do next.
- We should understand. Tolyan began. - Well, about that borzoi over there. He's obviously violating technology.
If he knows anything about her at all.
If he even knows such a word. - supported Tolyan. - Come on, I don’t know ... Let’s see, or something ...
- Let's. So what's on the paper...
Sergey again took out a piece of paper, examined it from both sides, put it back in his pocket.
— Yes, there are no operations here. It usually indicates how often it is necessary to take measurements and edit the grinding wheel.
He doesn't take measurements at all. Tolyan replied. - He doesn't seem to have any measuring instrument.
- How not? Sergei chuckled. “The eyes are enough. Well, some dudes...
- Okay, this is a lyric. Tolyan said seriously. - I'm only here for one day, let's do the job. Well, let's go to the technologist, shall we?
- No, it's not good. Yes, and he, well, this ... He will sabotage. He will say that you need to make a request somewhere, to the archive there, or something ... Let's ask the polite one over there?
- Let's. Tolyan nodded and moved towards the worker.
"Excuse me, can I distract you again?" Sergey turned.
— Yes, what? - in the voice of the worker, discontent was guessed.
“Ah… See, you seem to be making the finest details. I will assume that you follow the requirements of the technology. We have a problem here - we did not bring these requirements with us, and we cannot check how other workers fulfill them. Can you help us?
— Help to prove that my colleagues do not work well? The worker smiled.
“Eh… No, of course not. Just…
- Yes, I understand. Let's do it. - the worker cautiously looked around, Sergey instinctively repeated the same thing and noticed the unkind looks of those same colleagues. - You go for a smoke, and I'll be there in five minutes too. Is it okay?
- Wow, the Last Supper. - a strange light lit up in the eyes of Sergei. - Of course, let's!
- Well, Tolyan, let's go smoke? Sergey said loudly. “Still, it’s not clear at all.
Tolyan silently nodded, put the pieces of paper with measurements on a large container with parts, and the friends went to the exit from the workshop, opposite to the one through which they entered. There was a dead end behind the workshop gates - ten meters away there was already a fence, the territory was littered with rusty metal structures and dilapidated concrete blocks. To the right of the door was a smoking room - several wooden benches, the traditional black from oiled overalls, a couple of trash cans and a small shed, clearly made by the workers themselves.
Sergei, having nothing to do, sat down and lit a cigarette. There were two workers sitting on a nearby bench. Before the “students” arrived, they were arguing about something animatedly, then they quieted down, but after a couple of minutes, having convinced themselves of the harmlessness of the guests, they continued. It seems to be something about the Ural and Druzhba chainsaws.
Five minutes later, when the long-awaited worker arrived, the chainsaw lovers had already left, and it was possible to talk calmly.
“Guys, I will say this. - Without a pause, the worker began. “Our precinct is, frankly, a complete asshole. You asked about technology - so, God forbid, if the technologist remembers. Not to mention OTC, since we are talking about measurements and editing circles. The part has been produced for a very long time - our factory was not yet there, when everything was approved, at a large car factory. And ours just bought decommissioned machines there and do the same.
- So the problem is in the old machines? Tolyan asked.
- Well, how ... Formally - yes, they are old. On the other hand, because of their antiquity, they are very simple in their design. Well, you've seen it yourself. Therefore, the matter is rather in how to work with the machine than in the machine itself.
- Well, how do you manage to do without marriage? Sergey asked.
- Barely, to be honest. The worker smiled sadly. - We do measurements with calibers, you know what it is?
Tolyan and Sergey nodded.
- Here you go. All the information that the caliber gives is whether the part is within the tolerance field or not. That is, if I come across a circle that is pouring faster than usual, then I will only know that the size has floated away by producing a defective part. Fortunately, it floats into the plus, and after editing the circle I can process this part again. Well, that's about it. I measure more often, as soon as the size is gone - I stop, start editing, redo it.
Do you measure every detail? Tolyan narrowed his eyes. - That is, not according to technology? There for certain every ten it is necessary.
— Fifteen, if memory serves. – corrected the worker. “But the circles roll faster than sand. Therefore, I have my own technology. Although, it’s more like ... For conscience, or something ... Or to cover your ass - well, you never know, all of a sudden people like you will come with a check. I heard that the new quality director is a tough lady, and is going to clean up the mess. Yes, and our production manager disappeared somewhere, the second day there.
- And how do your colleagues feel about your ... Approach to business? Sergey asked.
- Well, how ... Laugh. They know that everyone cares about quality. We are doing an intermediate operation, then another answer is added. And when it doesn’t fit, they press harder, and it turns out. Well, or a file. They won’t carry them back - all of them are their own. And what will buyers have there - when did it matter to whom? Another bolt in some bucket.
— Have you tried to show your work, the results, to someone else?
- I tried it, how not ... I tried it for the guys - they laughed. We were not really friends anyway, but now in general ... I tried the Master - by the way, he supported me, went with me to technologists and designers. They didn’t let me into the office, he went in alone, after about five minutes he came out gloomier than a cloud, and was offended by me. As I understand it, they inserted it. Well, for some initiative. And I, it seems, didn’t go to anyone else ... I don’t remember, to be honest.
- So, what to do something ... - Sergei thought aloud.
- Am I still needed? - the worker asked - Otherwise, I have two hundred parts left to the norm, and I'll run home. Summer, garden.
— Yes, of course, thank you very much! - Sergey with respect and joy shook hands with the worker. - What is your name?
- No, let's do without it. The worker smiled. - My business is small. If you want to find me, you know where I stand.
- Well, Tolyan? Sergey asked when the worker left for the workshop. - Complete control, right? Violation of principles and standards?
- No. Standards don't care at all. The key is the Deming cycle. If an action is found that brings the quality to the proper value, and is affordable, then it should become part of the process. You should also check the stability.
— Yes, it is necessary. - Sergei got up from the bench and walked resolutely to the gate. – Something tells me that the stability will be very good. And his manual interventions in the process are more like ordinary rather than special causes of variation.
Having reached the site, the guys were quite surprised - the things left on the container were gone. Selected parts, measurement results, pen. Only the lever bracket remained - apparently, they were afraid to take it, a rather expensive thing.
Sergei looked around, but did not notice anything special. All the workers did not react in any way to the presence of outsiders, they simply continued to do their work. Tolyan began to walk around the container, looking into secluded corners, but Sergey stopped him - there is nothing to disgrace.
- Tolyan, come on. Sergey said loudly. - Now let's go, take new pieces of paper, otherwise someone stole ours - apparently, there is no toilet paper of our own. And his hands are growing out of his ass, once he took a hundred parts, he doesn’t know how to do it himself. Well, at least I didn’t take the bracket - apparently, the gyrus could not understand that the bracket could be pushed by the chirp. What kind of nerd is this, which ...
Here Sergei interrupted his speech, because one of the workers moved towards him with a quick step - a young guy, almost bald, with a face tanned to gray, and with a clear print of a gopnik face.
- Hey you! He pointed at Sergei. - What, are you going to measure?
- Yeah. Sergei nodded.
- Che, can you measure me too?
- I'll measure it, don't worry. Go to work, what the fuck, ghoul?
- So, let's go right now. Measure.
- You have to go for a piece of paper, there is nowhere to write it down.
- Don't, just remember. Measure. - and the gopnik made a strange gesture with his pelvis forward, as if offering Sergei to enter into an intimate relationship.
- Uh ... You are ... What do you propose to measure?
- Well guess. The guy repeated his gesture.
- Sure? Sergey began to speak a little louder so that everyone could hear.
- What about me. - continued the gopnik. - Come on, don't piss.
“Do you know what a lever brace is?” Sergei couldn't help but smile.
- Well, there she lies. A worry flickered across the boy's face. - What is there to know something. Like a barbell, only smarter.
“Do you know what the measurement range of this particular brace is?”
- What?
- That deer. One and a half centimeters, moron. Come on, take off your stinky pants, let's see what you want to show there. I’m just wondering - what do you have there so that the size will fit in one and a half centimeters? Insects or something...
The gopnik was a little confused and took a step back. He began to look around at his colleagues, and saw grins on their faces - even those who sent "students" to the meadows. His face quickly began to turn red, his eyes were filled with blood. Sergey, just in case, took a step to the left so that there were no dangerous details behind him.
- Oh, you ssssuka ... - the gopnik hissed through his teeth and rushed at Sergey.
He moved very quickly - apparently, the experience of delivering the first blow affected. Sergei managed to bend over a little and raise his hand, and the blow fell on the forearm. The second - under the breath, but also not on target, because the breath was not intercepted. Sergey was not a martial artist, so he didn’t come up with anything better than how to take the enemy into a clinch.
Then Tolyan arrived in time, grabbed the hooligan by the hands, and for several seconds they stood like that. Sergei managed to notice that of all the workers, only their new friend took a couple of steps towards the fight, but, apparently, did not dare to intervene.
- Well, are you cold? - Sergey asked quietly, looking into the close red face of the gopnik. - Am I letting go? Shall we eat crab?
- Let's eat. – unexpectedly easily agreed gopnik.
First, Tolyan let go of the guy's hands, then Sergey, slowly, unclenched his clinch. Gopnik stepped back a couple of steps, stretched his palms, cracked his neck and held out his hand to Sergei.
Sergei, sighing with relief to himself, held out his hand in response. For a second, he stopped looking at the gopnik himself, focusing on his hand and ...
Got a good hook to the head. He immediately swam, began to settle, but Tolyan managed to catch him. Gopnik, without hesitation, gave up.
- Cool. Sergei smiled as he stood up. “Maybe I’ll stop here. Let's go to Marina.
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Oh you ss...
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Source: habr.com