<\/a><\/noindex><\/p>\nThe first point of the plan you made worked perfectly. When I said I came from Moscow, no one checked my registration \u2013 they took my word for it. And it worked.<\/p>\n
Of course, they asked a couple of questions about my work history \u2013 like, why there wasn\u2019t a single Moscow company, but I managed to dodge it \u2013 I said that I\u2019m usually sent to save assets in remote areas where my expertise is needed.<\/p>\n
I told them the details of the projects and the results achieved \u2013 well, those that you had me memorize. I even managed to answer their questions. Overall, I made quite an impression.<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t stop being amazed by your foresight \u2013 you gave me the most valuable advice of my life. Remember when I first worked, servicing three computers, a modem, and a content management system for a website, and they didn\u2019t want to officially hire me for a long time? When they finally agreed, you said \u2013 let them list me as a \u201cprogrammer engineer\u201d. The accountant didn\u2019t care, she wrote it down just like that, and since then, in every opportunity, I confidently claim that I\u2019m a former programmer.<\/p>\n
This has a magical effect on current programmers. Considering that I\u2019m older than most of them, in their impressionable minds, I\u2019m sure they picture something like this: a young, enthusiastic guy in a dirty t-shirt, sitting in the corner of the server room, coding something in FoxPro, Delphi, or BASIC. Well, I think that\u2019s exactly how they see me.<\/p>\n
At the first team meeting, I, as expected, said that the most important thing is the result. I always say that. Yes, I remember you said that it\u2019s a meaningless, clich\u00e9d, hackneyed stereotype that doesn\u2019t impress anyone anymore, but I can\u2019t think of anything else to say. I don\u2019t talk about their, programmer-related topics, because I will be caught out on the first word. So, catch me if you can. Yes, I\u2019m just saying ordinary managerial nonsense. But there\u2019s nothing to pick apart.<\/p>\n
I pushed them forward as expected, along with the business tasks. I know you might be surprised by that word \u2013 I came up with it myself. Everyone says 'business tasks' or 'business-related tasks,' but I don't want to be like everyone else. Let me have my own twist. Every great manager should have their own unique touch, a special style, an unmistakable handwriting. My forte is business tasks.<\/p>\n
Well, there is a more down-to-earth explanation. I've been trying to work as a head of programmers for a long time, and\u2026 well, yes, not really working but trying to work. I\u2019m doing side jobs. I\u2019m trying to make extra money. You can\u2019t fool me \u2013 I haven\u2019t held a job for more than six months anywhere. Only the constant change of cities for work saves me \u2013 they don\u2019t have time to remember me.<\/p>\n
Honestly, I don't know how you're managing without me \u2013 I\u2019m only home a couple of times a year. Sometimes, strange thoughts creep in \u2013 like, she came up with the plan\u2026 and keeps it going\u2026 living completely without me\u2026 young, successful, a manager at one of the most well-known IT companies in Russia\u2026 And can't even get me hired as a technician\u2026 Sending me off to some out-of-the-way places\u2026 That's it! Away with those silly thoughts! I know, dear, that you love me and wish me nothing but the best! I will definitely make it so you can be proud of me, and we will be together again!<\/p>\n
I got distracted. So, I've been leading programmers at factories for quite some time. Every factory has business tasks \u2013 they are constantly discussed in the meetings I attend. Purchasing new equipment, finding qualified design engineers, optimizing costs, import substitution, developing new products, entering the international market. These are business tasks even I can understand. But none of them will ever be assigned to the IT department. At most, they will involve us in connecting the computer to the machine.<\/p>\n
The IT department of the factory has one task \u2013 to ensure everything works. If something fails, the programmers get grilled \u2013 either by the users or by me. If it\u2019s down for too long, or if the failure affects the factory\u2019s operation \u2013 they grill me. And I don\u2019t like being grilled, especially in public, at a managers\u2019 meeting. It\u2019s the worst thing that can happen. Especially when they force me to explain the reasons for the failures \u2013 what can I say? At most \u2013 'the guilty will be found and punished, we will work on measures to prevent this from happening, there are many technical details that you won\u2019t understand.' And if they insist on details, I say it\u2019s due to the dichotomous majorization of the matrix.<\/p>\n
So, here\u2019s the business task \u2013 that\u2019s the one I can get grilled for. That\u2019s why I tell the programmers from day one that business tasks are the most important. Drop everything and focus on this. Let others solve the business tasks; we\u2019ll never be assigned those.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, my first contact with that damn programmer didn\u2019t go well. I asked him what task he was solving \u2013 thinking he would just explain, and I would nod along. No, that bastard opened the source code, and I had to stare at it. I asked about the deadline \u2013 he seemed to mention two months. I hesitated a bit, recalling how you recommended working with deadlines. I remembered the method of bisection \u2013 you know, when the deadline is just divided in half, so I applied it.
The next day, a real business task came flying in \u2013 accounting yelled at me in front of the director. They said we were missing the deadline for report submission because the programmer wasn\u2019t helping. Foolishly, I tried to argue \u2013 saying, what are you talking about, what report can there be for August? It\u2019s submitted quarterly. That\u2019s when I learned that there are major taxpayers, such as that factory, and they submit reports monthly. I managed to wriggle out of it \u2013 saying I didn\u2019t know you were major players, good thing you told me. But I really didn\u2019t like the smirk on the chief accountant\u2019s face.<\/p>\n
I left the meeting and went to the restroom. Events like this act on me like a laxative. I was a step away from failure! I lingered there for about fifteen minutes until I pulled myself together and rushed to the programmer. And that brat just sits there, smirking\u2014like, why are you running around like a puppy at the first nudge from accounting? I haven\u2019t reacted to this kind of thing in a while\u2014I know that programmers don't respect those who bow down to users. Honestly, I don\u2019t care. My salary is twice as high, and you just sit there, all proud. But I\u2019m the boss, and you\u2019re the subordinate. Get a move on and do it. And don\u2019t forget to report back.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, this incident immediately tarnished my reputation among the managers. If they used to hardly approach me\u2014probably wanting to observe me\u2014now, let\u2019s say, they have taken notice. Complaints have appeared, some old tasks have resurfaced that this damn programmer hasn\u2019t been able to complete for months or even years. As you taught me, I honestly noted everything in the red notebook I keep for urgent issues. I also explained to everyone that this task would definitely be resolved now because I\u2019ve taken it under control.<\/p>\n
The nasty part is that the attitude of the director has changed. The item on your roadmap called 'First Alarm' came much sooner than expected. The director called me and said he was already worried\u2014I had promised during the interview that I would launch new projects, deliver results, and prove myself. According to the plan, I said that my first project would be the task management system.<\/p>\n
By the way, thanks for coming to the rescue. I accidentally dropped the flash drive with the distribution of this system in the toilet\u2014I\u2019m really glad you sent a copy. I struggled for several days, but managed to deploy the system on one of the servers\u2014the only one running Windows, which was used for access control, it\u2019s pretty old, but it seemed to work.<\/p>\n
In general, it\u2019s just as you said: 'I started implementing the task management system \u2013 six months free.' Well, not everything, of course\u2026 They usually turn this system off after a month. Maybe you could talk to the programmer who developed it so he could modify the system somehow? It really is monstrous. Filling out twenty fields just to set a task is a bit excessive for the users of the factory's information system.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, no one started entering tasks into my system. I kept saying what you taught me \u2013 that \"transparency is the basis of order,\" and \"if a task isn't written down, it won't be solved,\" and \"no task means no solution.\" But since I was already being taken a bit lightly, no one listened.<\/p>\n
During the next meeting with the director, I got a scolding. I tried to defend myself \u2013 saying that I wasn't to blame, the system is ready, but the company isn't. I have no authority over employees from other departments. I tried to hint that he lacks authority too since everyone decides for themselves whether to use the system or not. I shouldn't have done that, of course.<\/p>\n
He immediately got agitated, and for the first time in our conversation, he used profanity. At first, it was every ten words, then every five (is that also a method of binary division?), and then it became a continuous stream. The essence is this: authority can't be given, it can only be taken. And also: a manager is someone who achieves results. I usually say the same thing, but here I somehow understood what he meant.<\/p>\n
But it's absolutely unclear how to achieve that damn result. Maybe you can explain it to me? How to make users of the system, who don't report to me, enter tasks into my program? Please, don't start with all that soft skills, cross-communication, leadership, and opinion centers stuff. What needs to be done?<\/p>\n
I couldn't think of anything better than forcing the programmer to enter all tasks into the system. All tasks received through any channels \u2013 email, verbally, etc. He reluctantly grumbled a bit, but started entering the tasks. However, I don't know how it happened, but tasks were being logged without filling out all twenty fields. Did he hack it or something?<\/p>\n
I decided to build on my success. I made him fill out all the fields \u2013 analytics, utility classifiers, etc. But I got an unexpected effect \u2013 I was yelled at for the programmer stopping all work. Naturally, I went to him \u2013 that scoundrel was sitting there, smiling, saying that all his working time was spent filling out fields in my system. There was no time to argue or convince \u2013 I simply denied him his bonus for the month, and I sat down to fill out the analytics myself.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, I didn't understand most of the tasks, so I filled in the analysis just to achieve my goal \u2013 to show a positive outcome. Well, as you taught me. All tasks turned out to be useful for the business. All tasks were low-cost. All tasks generated direct income for the business. It was like not an IT department, but some sort of business unit.<\/p>\n
For the strategic session, I prepared a presentation. It\u2019s great that I have an anonymized template \u2013 I just need to insert the plant's logo, update the numbers in the Excel file, and all the graphs in the presentation become relevant, while the reasons and conclusions remain the same \u2013 well, that I am incredibly good and effective.<\/p>\n
But then something irreparable happened. I was so excited about the upcoming success that I decided to celebrate it at a local restaurant. It didn\u2019t go very well \u2013 I got drunk, ended up in a fight, and even got food poisoning. I had to send a programmer in my place. I sent him the presentation, said that I had flown off to a urgent conference to give a report, and went on to hug my white friend.<\/p>\n
The next day, people in the office were looking at me strangely. At first, I thought it was because of my paleness \u2013 the aftereffects of the poisoning still lingered. I covered the bruise with concealer, although it might have been noticeable, so they were smirking or looking away?<\/p>\n
But it turned out to be more mundane. That bastard programmer opened my presentation and adjusted the numbers. He included my salary in the cost column for solving tasks. I tried not to put too much emphasis on profit, so I laid out a not very high profitability, but tripling the expense part immediately turned our so-called \"profit\" into a loss. Later, I watched the video recording of the strategic session, and I had to excuse myself home for half a day \u2013 I had never felt such shame before. They laughed out loud. And that jerk \u2013 right along with them.<\/p>\n
And imagine \u2013 after that, he showed up and asked for a raise! What kind of audacity does it take to do that! It\u2019s not even about the fact that I have no idea how to increase his salary \u2013 it's just how brazen he is! I, of course, sent him off. Well, not directly, but as you taught me \u2013 like, wrong timing, you haven\u2019t shown results yet, and so on.<\/p>\n
So this jerk went to the director and asked for a raise! And he got a twenty percent increase! He schemed everything out purposely \u2013 first he came to me, and then \u2013 to the director. So I would get the impression of who's who around here. And when I asked how the whole raise process works here at the plant \u2013 who to talk to, how to present it, when's the best time \u2013 he said he wouldn't share any information with me. Like, I didn't help him, so he wouldn't help me.<\/p>\n
Then he outright told me to go to hell. Right to my face. Luckily, no one else was around. After the raise, he became really weird \u2013 sitting there, doing something, trying hard, working his ass off. I decided to take advantage of it and brought him a task \u2013 the sales team had been asking for it for a while. That's when he told me to take a hike. He said the director now gives him tasks directly. I'm no longer in charge of him. I mumbled something like, \"Well, you decided that for yourself\" \u2013 and went back on sick leave.<\/p>\n
It was already clear that I wouldn't last long here. But while the formal authority remains, I decided to get back at this scum. I went to the director's meeting, and we discussed all the failed projects for a long time. Well, I tried to justify myself without going into project details (since I knew nothing about them), while he looked at his smartphone and nodded occasionally.<\/p>\n
Finally, I said that I recently found the root cause according to Goldratt's theory \u2013 it's our programmer. I said let's fire him, and everything will be fixed right away. He looked up from his smartphone, glanced into my eyes, and calmly said: you're fired.<\/p>\n
The ending is quite predictable, really. It\u2019s just that for the first time, I was fired because of a programmer. By the way, I went to see him afterward \u2013 I said, do you know why I was fired? He replies \u2013 no, I don't know. He didn't get that the question had a twist. That he was to blame for my firing. That I have to go god knows where, looking for factories, renting a room in a communal house, brewing myself a hobo package, and thinking about you, dear.<\/p>\n
Two days later<\/i><\/p>\n
Letter<\/a><\/noindex>, I forwarded what you wrote to the programmer. I didn't quite understand why you wrote it and why \u2013 in my name, but whatever. And why you included the contact details of the company you work at and your mobile number. But you know better, dear. habr.com<\/a><\/p>","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u0417\u0434\u0440\u0430\u0432\u0441\u0442\u0432\u0443\u0439, \u0434\u043e\u0440\u043e\u0433\u0430\u044f. \u0423 \u043c\u0435\u043d\u044f \u043f\u043b\u043e\u0445\u0438\u0435 \u043d\u043e\u0432\u043e\u0441\u0442\u0438. \u041a \u0441\u043e\u0436\u0430\u043b\u0435\u043d\u0438\u044e, \u043c\u0435\u043d\u044f \u043e\u043f\u044f\u0442\u044c \u0443\u0432\u043e\u043b\u0438\u043b\u0438. \u0417\u043d\u0430\u044e, \u0442\u044b \u0431\u0443\u0434\u0435\u0448\u044c \u0440\u0443\u0433\u0430\u0442\u044c\u0441\u044f \u2013 \u0441\u043a\u0430\u0436\u0435\u0448\u044c, \u0447\u0442\u043e \u043d\u0435 \u043c\u0435\u043d\u044f \u0443\u0432\u043e\u043b\u0438\u043b\u0438, \u0430 \u044f \u0441\u0430\u043c \u2013 \u0443\u0431\u043e\u0433\u0438\u0439 \u0438 \u0431\u0435\u0441\u043f\u0440\u043e\u0441\u0432\u0435\u0442\u043d\u044b\u0439 \u043c\u0443\u0434\u0430\u043a, \u043d\u043e \u043d\u0430 \u044d\u0442\u043e\u0442 \u0440\u0430\u0437 \u0434\u0435\u043b\u043e \u043d\u0435 \u0432\u043e \u043c\u043d\u0435. \u0412\u043e \u0432\u0441\u0435\u043c \u0432\u0438\u043d\u043e\u0432\u0430\u0442 \u0441\u0443\u043a\u0430-\u043f\u0440\u043e\u0433\u0440\u0430\u043c\u043c\u0438\u0441\u0442. \u0412\u0441\u0451 \u0438\u0437-\u0437\u0430 \u043d\u0435\u0433\u043e. \u0421\u0435\u0439\u0447\u0430\u0441 \u044f \u0442\u0435\u0431\u0435 \u0432\u0441\u0435 \u0440\u0430\u0441\u0441\u043a\u0430\u0436\u0443. \u041f\u0435\u0440\u0432\u044b\u0439 \u043f\u0443\u043d\u043a\u0442 \u0441\u043e\u0441\u0442\u0430\u0432\u043b\u0435\u043d\u043d\u043e\u0433\u043e \u0442\u043e\u0431\u043e\u0439 \u043f\u043b\u0430\u043d\u0430 \u0441\u0440\u0430\u0431\u043e\u0442\u0430\u043b […]<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[702],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t