{"id":38373,"date":"2019-10-31T22:23:21","date_gmt":"2019-10-31T19:23:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/prohoster.info\/blog\/ya-perezhila-vygoranie-ili-kak-ostanovit-homyachka-v-kolese\/"},"modified":"2021-02-01T11:37:58","modified_gmt":"2021-02-01T09:37:58","slug":"ya-perezhila-vygoranie-ili-kak-ostanovit-homyachka-v-kolese","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prohoster.info\/en\/blog\/news\/ya-perezhila-vygoranie-ili-kak-ostanovit-homyachka-v-kolese","title":{"rendered":"I experienced burnout, or How to stop the hamster in the wheel.","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello, Habr. Not long ago, I read several articles here with sound advice on caring for employees before they 'burn out,' stop delivering expected results, and eventually cease to benefit the company. Yet, none were from 'the other side of the barricade,' meaning from those who have actually experienced burnout and, importantly, dealt with it. I managed to navigate through it, received a recommendation from my former employer, and found an even better job.<\/p>\n

So, what should a leader and the team do? This is well explained in the article \"Burnt-Out Employees: Is There a Way Out<\/a><\/noindex>\" and \"Burn, Burn Brightly, Until It Goes Out<\/a><\/noindex>\" A brief spoiler from me: it\u2019s enough to be a caring leader and look after your employees; the rest are various tools of differing effectiveness.<\/p>\n

However, I am convinced that approximately 80% of the reasons for burnout stem from the individual characteristics of the employee. This conclusion is based on my experience, but I believe it holds true for other burnt-out individuals as well. Furthermore, it seems to me that more responsible, concerned about their work, and outwardly promising, agreeable workers burn out more frequently than others.<\/p>\n

\"I
\nThe allegory of the hamster may seem offensive to some, but it accurately reflects everything that has happened. First, the hamster happily jumps onto the wheel, then dizziness from speed and adrenaline kicks in, and eventually, all that\u2019s left in its life is the wheel\u2026 This is how I got off this carousel, along with a candid reflection and unsolicited advice on how to cope with burnout\u2014read more below.
\n<\/a><\/noindex><\/p>\n

Timeline<\/h2>\n

For seven years, I worked in a web studio. When I started, HR saw me as a promising employee: motivated, passionate, ready for heavy workloads, stress-resistant, possessing the necessary soft skills, capable of working in a team and supporting corporate values. I had just returned from maternity leave, craved mental challenges, and was eager to jump into action. In the first year or two, my desires were fulfilled: I actively developed, attended conferences, and took on all sorts of interesting tasks. A lot of time and energy went into work, but it also fueled me with energy.<\/p>\n

I perceived the promotion that came two years later as a logical continuation of my efforts. However, with the promotion, responsibilities increased, and the percentage of creative tasks decreased\u2014most of my time was spent in negotiations, I was responsible for the department's work, and my schedule had subtly become formally \"more flexible,\" but in reality, it was around the clock. My relationship with the team gradually deteriorated: I considered them lazy, they thought of me as hysterical, and looking back, I think they weren't entirely wrong. Nevertheless, at that time, I imagined that I was almost at the top of Maslow's pyramid (where self-actualization lies).<\/p>\n

Thus, without a vacation and with very conditional weekends, several more years passed. By the seventh year of work, my motivation boiled down to the thought of \"just don\u2019t disturb me,\" and I increasingly imagined very realistically how I was being escorted out of the office by people in white coats.<\/p>\n

\"I<\/p>\n

How did this happen? How did I reach a state where I could no longer cope on my own? And most importantly, why did it happen so imperceptibly? Today, I think the main reasons are perfectionism, perception traps (or cognitive distortions), and inertia. In fact, the fundamental concepts are quite interestingly described in the aforementioned posts, but repetition is the mother of learning, so here it is.<\/p>\n

Automation and Inertia<\/h3>\n

Surely you know what automation is\u2014that is, the reproduction of actions without conscious control. This evolutionary mechanism of the psyche allows us to be faster, higher, stronger when performing repetitive tasks and expend less energy doing so.<\/p>\n

And here, watch closely. In an effort to save us a bit more energy, instead of searching for a new solution, the brain effectively says: \"Hey, it always worked before; shall we repeat this action?\" As a result, it is easier for us to act according to a once-established and repeatedly reproduced (even incorrect) pattern than to change anything. \"The psyche is inertial,\" said a friend of mine who teaches neuropsychology.<\/p>\n

When I burned out, I performed most actions on 'autopilot'. But this isn't the kind of automatism that allows accumulated experience and knowledge to quickly transform into optimal solutions for new tasks. Rather, it allowed me not to think about what I was actually doing. The joy of being an explorer was gone. One process replaced another, but the quantity did not decrease. This is the norm for any living project, but for me, it became a cyclical function that makes the hamster run in circles. And I ran.<\/p>\n

Formally, I continued to deliver results that, while not excellent, were consistently satisfactory, and this masked the problem from the project manager and the team. 'Why change something that works?'<\/p>\n

\"I<\/p>\n

Why didn\u2019t I suggest discussing the terms? Why didn\u2019t I ask to review my schedule or eventually switch to another project? The thing is, I was a boring perfectionist stuck in a perception trap.<\/p>\n

How to Boil a Frog<\/h3>\n

There's a scientific joke about how to boil a frog in hot water.<\/a><\/noindex>The hypothesis for the experiment went like this: if you place a frog in a pot of cold water and gradually heat the container, the frog won't be able to adequately assess the danger due to the gradual change in conditions and will boil without realizing what's happening.<\/p>\n

The assumption was not confirmed, but it perfectly illustrates the perception trap. When changes occur gradually, they are hardly noticed by the consciousness, and at any given moment it seems like 'it has always been this way'. As a result, when I found myself with a heavy yoke around my neck, I felt it as part of my own neck. But, as is known, the horse worked the hardest on the collective farm, yet never became the chairperson.<\/p>\n

The Hell of the Perfectionist<\/h3>\n

You have surely seen those sufferers who experience torment when something is N O T I D E A L. In some parallel universe (as well as among 'hungry' HR), such striving is often regarded as a positive quality. But everything is good in moderation, and now I think that, in reality, the first to be consumed by burnout are indeed the perfectionists.<\/p>\n

\"I<\/p>\n

They are essentially maximalists, and it's easier for them to collapse on a treadmill than to not reach the finish line. They believe they can literally do everything; all it takes is to push a bit harder, then some more, and again, and again. But incompetent resource allocation leads to breakdowns: deadlines, energy, and ultimately sanity. That\u2019s why a wise HR is cautious with employees who have 'very bright eyes' and 'devout enthusiasts of their work.' Yes, achieving a five-year plan in three years is possible, but only if you consider the laws of physics and have a clear plan and resources. And when the hamster eagerly jumps into the wheel, it has no goal; it just wants to run.<\/p>\n

The Day I Broke<\/h2>\n

Demands and responsibilities gradually increased, the project was gaining momentum, I still loved what I did, and I couldn't reflect in time when I 'broke.' One day, a thought surfaced in the swamp of my consciousness: my circle of interests had narrowed down to the needs of a hamster. Eat, sleep \u2014 and into the wheel. Then eat again, or better yet, grab a coffee; it\u2019s invigorating. Not invigorating anymore? Have another cup, and keep going in circles. The desire to go out anywhere other than work faded. Socializing outside work became exhausting, while work-related interactions made me cry. Now I can't believe that this clarion call was so hard for me to notice myself. Every day, I communicated for at least a few hours with the project team and my supervisor, yet the response to my non-verbal and verbal signals was bewilderment. Such genuine bewilderment when a reliable mechanism that had been tested for years suddenly faltered.<\/p>\n

Then I started sleeping. Coming home from work, I would wrap up tasks and then fall into bed. On weekends, I would wake up, and without getting out of bed, I would complete other tasks on my laptop. By Monday, I would wake up tired, sometimes with a headache.<\/p>\n

\"I<\/p>\n

Several months of constant drowsiness gave way to insomnia. I would quickly fall into a deep sleep and just as easily wake up a few hours later, only to doze off again for half an hour before the alarm. This was even more exhausting than the drowsiness itself. I went to a specialist when I clearly realized that my life consisted of two cycles: work and sleep. At that moment, I no longer felt like a hamster. Most of the time, I resembled a galley slave, my fingers so cramped from prolonged tension that I couldn't let go of the oar.<\/p>\n

Rescue Techniques<\/h2>\n

And yet, the turning point was not the work of the specialist, but rather the acknowledgment of the problem and the fact that I was not coping. When I gave up my claims to control over myself and my body and asked for help, the process of returning to a full life began.<\/p>\n

Recovery took about a year and is still ongoing, but from my personal experience, I have formulated unsolicited advice on the stages of recovery, which may help someone maintain their health and even their beloved job.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. If burnout has reached a stage where physical symptoms have appeared\u2014first, 'put on your mask,' meaning help yourself survive. Insomnia, lack of appetite or uncontrolled overeating, unexplained pains, blood pressure spikes, tachycardia, or other health deteriorations\u2014it's essential to stabilize your physical condition right now. Based on my symptoms, I immediately consulted a psychotherapist. The specialist predictably asked about rest and prescribed sleeping pills and tranquilizers. There were also obvious recommendations: take a break from work, establish a strict daily routine (three times, ha). At that time, I was so exhausted that it was less energy-consuming to leave everything as it was (inertia, heartless you...).<\/li>\n
  2. Accept that changes are inevitable. Since you have found yourself where you are, it is clear that there was some bug, an incorrect pattern, a repeated erroneous function. It is not worth rushing to quit immediately, but you will have to rethink at least your daily routine and your priorities. Changes are inevitable, and you need to allow them to happen.<\/li>\n
  3. Understand that there will be no instant effect. It's likely that you didn't reach your current state overnight. Recovery will take some time, and it's better not to set yourself a bar, deadlines, or goals. In fact, giving yourself time amidst constant deadlines, shifting the focus from work to your own well-being\u2014this was as obvious as it was difficult. Without this, no pills would help. However, if nothing changes at this stage after a month, it is worth consulting a specialist about changing tactics or finding another specialist.<\/li>\n
  4. Abandon the habit of forcing yourself. It's likely that through sheer willpower, you've reached a state where the word 'want' has disappeared from your lexicon, and your motivation has long been a dead horse. At this stage, it's important to hear any spontaneous desire within yourself and support it. After about two weeks of regular pill intake, I spontaneously wanted to stop by a makeup store on my way. I spent a maximum of ten minutes there, trying to remember why I even came and looking at labels, but it was the first sign of improvement.<\/li>\n
  5. Follow the recommendations received and do not dismiss opportunities. It's still unclear what comes next and how to plan for the future. Therefore, the optimal strategy is simply to follow the advice of those you trust and be open to new opportunities. Personally, I was very afraid of being dependent on medication. So, as soon as I felt an improvement, I stopped taking the pills. A few days later, my bed and sleep began to pull at me really familiar, and I realized that it was better to complete the treatment course entirely.<\/li>\n
  6. Switch gears or broaden your perspective. This will help you understand that life is not limited to just work (or one stack). Practically any non-work-related activity that is new to you and requires attention will do. I needed money, so I continued to work and chose courses that could be attended for free if an interview was passed. Rare, but intensive offline sessions took place in different cities. New experiences, new people, informal atmosphere\u2014I watched and realized that beyond the office, there is life. It felt like I had landed on Mars without leaving Earth.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    At this stage, the psyche is already stable enough to make decisions about how to move forward and what to change: work, projects, or even the wallpaper on the desktop. Most importantly, a person is capable of constructive dialogue and can leave without completely burning bridges, possibly even receiving recommendations.<\/p>\n

    Personally, I realized that I couldn't continue at my previous job. Of course, I was immediately offered better conditions, but that no longer made sense. \"Timeliness is an eternal drama,\" sang Talkov \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

    How to search for a job after burnout?<\/h2>\n

    Perhaps it\u2019s better to avoid direct mentions of burnout. It's unlikely anyone would want to delve into the intricacies of your inner world. I think it\u2019s more beneficial to phrase it vaguely, for example: \"I read research that on average, people work in one IT position for about six years. I feel like my time has come.\"<\/p>\n

    Yet, in my meeting with HR, to the predictable question \"Why did you leave your last position?\" I honestly replied that I had burned out.
    \n\u2014 Why do you think this won't happen again?
    \n\u2014 Unfortunately, no one is insured against this, not even your best employees. It took me seven years to reach this state, and I think a lot can happen in that time. And I still have recommendations \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

    \"I<\/p>\n

    It has already been a year since I finished medication therapy and six months since I changed jobs. I returned to a long-abandoned sport, I'm exploring a new field, enjoying my free time, and it seems I've finally learned to manage my time and energy while maintaining balance. So, it is possible to stop the hamster wheel. But of course, it\u2019s better not to get into it at all.<\/p>\n

    Source: habr.com<\/a><\/p>","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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