How to distribute kittens

Distribution of kittens via DHCP

1. Tie a leash to the kitten
2. Launch a kitten into the crowd
3. When the owner is found, he himself will untie the kitten from the leash.

Distribution of kittens via HTTPS

- Do you need a kitten?
“Does he have a pedigree and a vaccination certificate?”
- Yes, look. By the way, is your passport expired?
- No, he's just Moldovan. Is that really a kitten?
- And what?
Why does he have a German Shepherd in his pedigree?

Distribution of kittens via TCP

- Hello.
- Hello.
- Can I ask you a few questions?
Yes, but no more than two at a time.
- See the kitten?
— This?
- Yes.
- I see.
- Do you want to take it for yourself?
- No. Any more questions?
- Нет.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Distribution of kittens via UDP

- Here's a kitten!
(the distributor puts the kitten in his hands and runs away).

Distribution of kittens via ICMP

meow
meow
meow
meow

0% voice loss

Distribution of kittens via BGP

Do you need a kitten?
- No. I recommend giving it to the market.
- Where is it?
- Straight ahead, the third turn to the left, and then ask someone. Either now to the left and the third turn to the right, but there is a long traffic light.

Distribution of kittens by DHT/PEX

- Friends, please ask your friends if any of them know a person whose neighbors need a kitten!

Distribution of kittens via SSH

— Darling, it seems that during our vacation someone broke into our house!
- Horrible! Is there anything missing?
— On the contrary, he gave us a kitten!

Distribution of kittens via CDN

- Grandma, you still sit, handing out kittens! Attach mine too.
- Yes, no question, my dear, you have a hundred rubles.

The author thanks N. and her pets for inspiration, as well as R. for betting.

Source: habr.com